I feel like a kid, waiting for Christmas morning, except i hope Santa doesn't come...

News!

After I graduate in the Fall...hopefully graduate that is... Dustin and I are planning on moving to Tulsa!!!!

I will be heading up the Optilean program up there, teaching classes, consulting patients, etc.  And until that gets off the ground, I will be doing stuff for Fedcare, and other workers comp stuff up there!

So excited!

Home Sweet Home

Today tastes like a Golden Delicious Apple, straight out of the fridge. Cold, crisp, juicy.

Spring Break

Nothing kicks off a blog entry like a cat picture!

Spring Break comes just in time every year. Just when you think that if you have to write another goddamn paper, or take one more motherfucking test, your going to driver you're car off a cliff, Spring Break comes to the rescue! This year we will be headed back to North Carolina to spend time with my sister! Yay!

The long, cold winter was cruel and unrelenting, but cool spring showers are coming to wash away the bitter chill. : ) Unfortunately, in Oklahoma, we celebrate spring with tornadoes! And I live in a mobile home, uh oh! Thunder and rain and tornadoes, oh my!

My new blog flavor of the week is Unhappy Hipsters. : ) Nothing starts my day off like a shot of cool wit.

So, I got drunk last night, and started a twitter. It's kind of lame so far. I guess it's up to me to make it interesting huh. If anyone reads this, and has a twitter, friend me, or whatever it is on twitter. The only people I have found so far are my mom, and mother in law.

Winter

Me during most of the ice storm

The cold, crappy weather is bringing me down. I'm even more introverted than usual....

Oh sun, come out and warm this lonely heart.

"Operation Get My Shit Together" is back on track. The ice storm was a nice vacation, but getting back on top of my shit has been a challenge. During the ice storm we basically just watched movies and hardlined jager till we passed out.

Did we really finish the jager. Damn.

It was pretty awesome. But now I'm slowly getting back to my routines. The house is finally clean, homework done. Life is good. I need to crawl out of my comfortable shell and start socializing, but I haven't really felt like it. It's alot of work, and I'm tired (lazy).

Lovely Lady

My dear Aunt JoAnn passed away last Thursday evening. She was found Tuesday morning by her son, Bryan. She had had a heart attack, and had passed away quickly.

This week has been exceptionly trying for my mom. My heart breaks for her, because if my sister died, it would be devastating.

At the "visitation" (which is what they had instead of a wake) and her funeral, they showed a slide show of pictures from her life... and she was fucking fabulous.
These aren't very good pictures of her, but do you see that freaking beehive!

She had great taste, and was very very creative.

Her death was really sudden, and everybody is extremely saddened by her death. We are all going to miss her presence in our lives.

Anxious

Ego, from the Marvel Universe

Today I am reminding myself that my anxiety stems from my ego's sense of loss of control. It doesn't realize that it has no real control over anything. This is helping ease my tension over a number of stressors that I am experiencing today, mainly my car falling apart at the seams.

I love my car. I love it so much. I haven't taken as good of care of it as it has taken of me, and now it is falling apart. The other day Dustin accidently ran it into a curb, really really hard, and broke one of my new rims, and a tire. I am still in the process of forgiving him for this. He replaced both the tire and the rim, but the darn thing is pulling to the right about 30 degrees, which I hope just means that it needs a realinement. Also, the door hing on the passenger side is shot, and refused to latch this morning as I was getting out at school. I told Dustin that he would have to deal with it, since I was getting later for class. I still am not sure what happened to it. I really want to fix it, but sadly that would require money, that we do not have currently.

Dustin's family issues are escalating again, and he is in kind of a bad place right now. My heart is breaking for him, as he watches his parents grow apart. We have sort of avoided the whole situation, and it seemed like it was getting better and easier, so we have been trying to reconnect, but it is hard since everything is still in limbo. The whole thing is really hard on him.

So, I don't really have any control over anything. I don't have control of my car or Dustin's family situation, or any of the other problems we might run into. I am reminding myself to acknowledge and witness my fear of not having control over anything, without judging myself for having the feelings that I am experiencing, so that I can transform my fear into love, which I have learned is the opposite of fear.

Or something spiritual like that : ).