I want to be a snail....

... so I can hide inside myself.

Feeling antisocial today.

Monday, March 31 2009

Currently, it is 3:00 AM. I am watching South Park, making "ckick'n" and rice, and drinking J. Roget champagne, and wasted. It is worth saying that probably 50% of my blogging has been while I was drinking. I am so ready for school to be out, I could scream. I have no idea what to do with my life. THERE. I said it. And I am stuck in a go-nowhere job. I am going crazy.

The only thing that is keeping me sane is the fact that I get to work with my wonderful husband, and my job is easy. albeit very stressful at times. Which is where alcohol comes in.

The only consolation prize is that if I work hard, stick it out in this miserable job, with these miserable fucking people, and do everything according to the plan I have laid out in my plan in my mind, I will be able to do what I want in about a year. I can't wait.

What exactly is success anyways. What do normal people do. Watch TV. At night. After work. I don't want that. Exactly. Boring. More South Park. Fucking Internet.

Food Jags

I am currently on a food jag. It happens every once and a while. Right now all I want are fried egg sandwiches. Before that it was Oriental Ramen noodles, before that breakfast burritos, before that fajitas. I know it drives Dustin crazy, because he doesn't really cook, and thus is also on a food jag.

Too many carbs though. That and too much alcohol are giving me candida problems I think. Not good.

Life Happens

I am soooo busy right now, that I am finding it really really hard to implement the change I want. I feel like I'm trying to focus on a million different things at once, and it's not working. The stuff I've been reading says to focus on one goal at a time, but I'm finding that exceedingly difficult, as I have so many that I have to focus my attention on that I can't focus on any of my goals.

Basically, I can't change anything because I have no time, and the little free time I have, I spend drunk just so I don't have to think about all the shit that I haven't had time to do.

I'm going crazy.